How To Go For Pro

There is one thing that some aspiring writers never fail to do and that's sticking themselves into the black hole of rejection for the most basic, and most stupid, reasons. The most common way to do is by ignoring submission guidelines. I am sure you have your good reasons to believe that electronic submissions are the only way to go, but if the agent (or equivalent) only accepts hardcopies, then that is what you must do, no questions asked. To minimise your chances of success by ignoring what is spelt out for you is the most over-used highway to the slush pile. 

Today I am going to give you a string of winning tips on how to deal with submissions, be these to an agent, a publisher, a competition organiser, an editor or whoever may be accepting your manuscript.  Some of you will be laughing and sneering at these but believe me when I say that, if agents and editors unleashed the weirdness of the slush pile to the world, you would gasp at writers' ingenuity and plain idiocy.  In no particular order:

1. A manuscript is not a stack of papers written in long-hand. It is a typescript and most often yielded by a printer on white, A4 paper, unless otherwise requested in the submission guidelines.
2. Follow the submission guidelines to the letter.
3. Number the pages of your manuscript.
4. To minimise the amount of postage you will waste over many submissions, send a speculative letter with brief details of the project to the agent or editor and only reply with the full proposal once such agent or editor has invited you to send it. 
5. When you send your proposal following such request, add a very brief covering letter and also a copy of the original one together with the manuscript.
6. If you are sending a full proposal without using the speculative method first always enclose a covering letter. 
7. If you want your manuscript returned, include an SAE big enough for it to fit into.
8. Use the correct postage every time.
9. Do not send your manuscript by recorded delivery.
10. If you wish your manuscript to be acknowledged, include a stamped, addressed postcard and kindly request its return in the cover letter. This method has a 100% success rate.
11. Do not put any mark on the acknowledgment postcard. You do not want to give the impression that your carefully crafted submission pack is going out to twenty agents at the same time, even though it will be. Use different inks if you really must, even though most agents and editors out there will send the postcard back by signing it with the name of the agency. Wait and see.
12. If you do not wish your manuscript to be returned, specify so in the cover letter and also add return of materials not required in the footer of the manuscript itself.
13. Treble-check the name of the person you're submitting to and get it right in all correspondence.
14. Do not staple anything. If you must use a fastening method, use an elastic band.
15. If you see a mistake in your manuscript, do not correct it by hand. Do so at the computer and re-print.
16. If the reply is no, it means no. Do not pester, do not get back to them, do not ask any questions; you will not change their minds.
17. Do not send anything during the London Book Fair, the Frankfurt Book Fair or the Bologna Book Fair. Check the calendar so that your submission doesn't get buried under one week worth of post accumulated on the agent's or editor's desk at super-peak time.
18. Keep track of all your submissions in a spreadsheet or other such document. Keep a field for special comments where you can add all specific suggestions received. If you are a good writer, you will get many of these before an agent or editor takes your project on.
19. Do not go after agents such as Ed Victor or The Wylie Agency; agents whose list include Nigella Lawson, Rupert Everett, Sean Penn, Diane Von Furstenberg and the like are not going to take on first-time authors, no matter how spectacular you think your debut to be. Similarly, if an agency says 'no unsolicited submissions', they really, really, really mean it. 
20. If you can submit electronically, do not write an informal email. Treat it as the covering letter in every single way, including adding your postal address at the top.
21. Do not send gifts, money, vouchers, or anything at all other than your manuscript, the SAE and the acknowledgment card.
22. Do not request a critique of your manuscript in the covering letter 'in case' the agent or editor is not interested.
23. Do not pitch more than one project at any one time. 
24. Do not re-send the same project to another agent within the same agency. 
25. And finally, check your punctuation, spelling and grammar twenty times over. A supposed pro writer who mis-spells is about as credible as a surgeon who faints at the sight of blood. 

I can guarantee that all of these tips work, right down to getting a straight phone call from agents and editors. And if you do get that, do not squeal. 

Comments

[Amelia]

Hi there,

really well written Steph and when I am about to send off my art book manuscript, I will bear in mind this list. Thank you.

Amelia.x

[Lyn South]

Great post, Steph! I see what you mean about our posts complementing one another. Very well thought through list! In fact, I'm going to print out and keep by my Mac for when I'm ready to start submitting my WIP. Thanks!

[Steph]

Thank you so much! I am thrilled that this list will come in handy soon enough. It's tried-and-tested, it works like a dream, fire off your queries with confidence! And THANK YOU again!