Orphaned

Image by Galia Alena

My mentor says that we cannot do more than a couple of things at once if we strive for quality. I've always agreed with him, especially when I was down in the dumps at work because I was staying up so late to write. Then I was re-reading my writing and it wasn't that great either. There are lots of sites and books that tell us that if we want to write, then we make time for it, and to some extent I've said so myself. But there is a difference between swapping mindless occupations (browsing aimlessly for example) for writing and adding writing to a schedule that, quite simply, does not allow for it. 

A friend of mine (mother of two, has a job, runs the house, the usual jazz), started getting up at 5 am in order to get some journal-time. She did it for a few times and then stopped. I am even impressed that she attempted it! If someone asked me to get up to write at 5 am I'd ask myself what stuff they've been smoking. I am immensely lucky in many respects. Whether I write right now, later, in the evening, before or after the exercise DVD, really doesn't make a difference. But then sometimes I too go through moments of displacement; I hit those when an important writing project has come to its end.

Such was life at my digs yesterday, when I sent the precious piece off for review to my collaborator and felt a bit... orphaned and lonely, a bit whoopee about things and at the same time a bit what now? This is bizarre because, if you follow my ongoings, you'll know that there is the anthology to write about, proof and publish, and another important 20,000-word thing I must get out of my hair in the next six weeks and I've been asked to guest-post and I've still to figure out what to write about and when, and I've glimpsed something on the horizon that may mean a completely new set of notes and writing headaches but, hopefully, starting January, not tomorrow. Blah di-blah.

Yet all of that didn't stop me when I moved the laptop from knees to bed, felt all clever and proud for about a minute and then the wandering eye started, darting from notebook to journal (nah, can't be asked to do that now), and from research book to new plan (God, is this stuff still here?!). Do you know the feeling dear reader? That paralising sense that you really knew what you were doing and now, darn it, you must go back to the beginning and start it all over again? I always liken it to getting back to exercising after an injury. The first few times are agony in every sense and then... if only you keep pushing yourself... you... eventually... get back to it. But how hard it is not to jack it in at the warm-up stage!

Luckily I've got the eCourse to keep me switched on. We've just started the second week, chat is happening tonight, and I feel all thrilled and privileged to peek into the participants' creative experiences. I knew that everything would have worked out just fine but let me tell you dear reader, when you see your plans unfolding right in front of you, exactly as you expected, it's like watching a montage in slow-motion, ticking off all the beautiful scenes you had storyboarded in your head. Moral of the story: we may only be able to tend intensely to a couple of projects at any one time but it's good to have lots around us. 

Comments

[Amelia]

I am so glad to hear your ecourse is going so well :) I too adore running mine and all the great people, inspiring ideas and interesting creative experimenting that goes on. It always gets me inspired too.

and great to hear guest posting is coming your way too. I've been just so busy recently - but I guess one is when there's a course going on - and trying to keep abreast of the blogging world too.

I so know the feeling of "what now?" with creative projects, and in fact with many things in my life. I find it hard to meander and much prefer having my teeth in a good ole project or 2!

Amelia.x