The Creative Identity

Rejected? Just Shut Up!

Years ago, when I was seeking an agent for one of my projects, I came across many of them willing to talk to me but ultimately I gained no representation. I subsequently canned the project and got a deal for another one. At the time, however, I remember discussing this with a couple of close friends who all suggested I went back to the agent(s) and asked why on earth after such a promising start (calling me, no less) they had decided not to represent my work. I was emotionally on the edge at the time dear reader; as all writers know, the whole agent/publishing deal thing is one that feels immensely personal to the writer, while in reality, and if only we let objectivity seep through sometimes, it is nothing other than a business deal. Those conversations with people urging me to find out why a promising beginning had yielded rejection did not sit well with me. Yes, I was rejected and dejected. Yes, I wanted to know why a proposal that had been deemed fantastic had not yielded what I perceived as the ultimate reward, representation. Yet, what I learnt later was what I say all the time in my workshops now: if your writing is good, you will succeed, provided you have the right project in your hands. In non-fiction, it's marketability that sells far and above your ability to write the book itself (think footballers' autobiographies). I was less experienced at the time but at the... Read more →

Short Story Competition Update

The very girlie and cute notebook that holds all compo-related work. It's been two-and-a-bit weeks since the Short Story Competition closed. I spent the first ten days reviewing my plan for producing the anthology. I am now dealing with the registration as a publisher, buying of ISBNs, drafting of the publishing contract that will be sent to the winners, sourcing of printing services, budgeting and so on... But I've also started to read all of these entries. I am thrilled that an overarching theme for the anthology will emerge once I've been through all of your stories. Today therefore seems like a good day to be talking about matters of style, grammar and presentation as I've detected a few problems that really should not be there. And before anyone freaks out, read this: nobody is getting canned for anything that I shall list on here. Let me repeat that one: I shall not bin any entry on the basis of what you read below, but stick with me while I tell you about these blunders and the reason for doing so. The entry form existed for a reason, as did the clear guideline that stated: 'Please add a footer to your story with the page number and the title only'. In the entry form you put all of your personal details including the title of your story; in the footer, just the page number and the title. This is done so that, upon receipt, the reader can immediately separate the... Read more →

Not Quite Literally

We all have pet peeves, actions or words that send us through the roof and up and away. I detest 'the fact that' because it is cumbersome and redundant, but sometimes I think that 'literally' should get my own personal hate medal. Today isn't about me and my vision though; today is about Wynford Hicks and problem words. Literally is one of these. Enjoy. 'Literally features in all style and usage guides. Don't use it when you don't mean it, they say. 'He literally exploded with anger' is absurd. But do use it if you need to make clear that a stale metaphor is, for once, an accurate statement. 'He literally died laughing' could be true. Most published uses of literally fail the test: In the Austenian economy, a woman's face is literally her fortune. (Naomi Wolf, Sunday Times) Eyewitness accounts of this practice are literally blood-curling. (Times) The more satire there is, the less effect it has. We are all literally deafened. (Libby Purves, Times) Kate's tummy has been literally sliced off, leaving her looking positively concave. (The Daily Mail describes the retouching of a photograph of Kate Winslet) Some people are aware of the problem. As Zadie Smith has one of her characters say: 'Only idiots use the word "literally" in conversation'. Others seem to think that by putting 'almost' in front of 'literally' they can make it work: The people of the rebuilt Oradour lived, almost literally, within this history. (Adam Nossiter) The network was making so... Read more →

Things Agents Don't Say

I never thought there was much truth in those stories that ridicule writers' attempts at getting their manuscripts noticed until I started canvassing agents and publishers and came across the weird and the wonderful first-hand. For your enjoyment today, and in no particular order, some hair-raising blunders of the 'how not to approach an agent' variety. And, of course, if you are an agent or publisher, I'd love to hear your own special stories. Why did the author add white powder to his submission during the anthrax scare? It freaked us all out and his submission ended up in a test lab. I got a spec query scribbled on a piece of cardboard posted through the letterbox. Don't spray your perfume on your submission. Are you Elle Woods? And maybe it's time you visit the counter for something less... overpowering. I don't return manuscripts within twenty-four hours, sorry. Why do you think 'I know where you live' is supposed to help you? My other clients are 'commercial dross'? Tough shit. Don't send me vouchers, not even the 'fine variety' from Argos please. I don't do callbacks, especially not at a time set by the writer. Once I received a submission from a writer who insisted I represented his fantasy novel, even though it is quite clearly pointed out on my website that I do not represent fantasy, nor am I ever going to. Don't tell me that all of your friends have loved your novel and that I will too.... Read more →

Process Blunders

In 2007 I listened to Poppy Adams talk about her novel, The Behaviour of Moths. She spoke of the day she finished her manuscript, when she picked up the phone, called a few agents and very nearly screeched down the line that she had written a novel and would you be interested? This approach did not yield much besides a string of 'thanks but no thanks... click'. Poppy eventually succeeded in publishing her work. Unlike many authors who shy away from good connections in order to promote a life of merit built on tears, poverty and rejection, she confessed that she asked colleagues and family whether anyone knew an agent or anyone in publishing and it was through networking that she landed representation and, later, a deal (and here's a lesson for every prospective writer: don't regard time spent networking as wasted time, as you really do not know where those idle chats will lead you and your work). This finishing-a-manuscript-and-calling-up-an-agent is one of the funniest, most spectacular blunders in relation to the writing process. I first heard about this when I was at university and, quite frankly, I assumed it was an urban legend perpetrated by content writers with nothing better to do than talking rubbish. Oh no, it's all true and it still happens. You should not go down this route under any circumstances, and neither should you ever turn up unannounced at an agent's (or publisher's) office requesting your manuscript to be assessed there and then, not... Read more →